Residential Care

With Mum moved into Regis Woodlands, we now had the job to clean her house and sell it.  Jen stayed a week from 17^th to 25^th October sorting out Mum’s finances to hand over to Jo, Mum’s newly appointed administrator.  We had decided an outsider would help keep things above board, although we will still discuss everything amongst ourselves before asking Jo to sign off on things.

Jen also helped go through some of Mum’s belongings as we sorted out who wanted what and what to sell, give away or throw out.  It was a huge job.  Kat and I ended up having 3 garage sales, several tip runs and a delivery to second hand shops who are now so fussy they really don’t want anything that is slightly damaged.  During this time Kat and Jen shared the car with me, borrowing it on occasions to get my things done or to visit Mum.

During Jen’s visit we met with one of the clinical managers at Regis to discuss Mum’s stay and her medical needs.  We also arranged another meeting with the government body to discuss Mum’s on-going health directives and palliative care when needed.

Sorting through Mum’s many possessions and cleaning out the junk was emotionally challenging and stressful.  What to chuck out and what to keep?  People who know me understand how difficult this is for me as I hate to throw things away that are useful or still usable. We ordered a large skip bin, which was crammed full of scrap from around the garden, old furniture and household goods.  Metal and recyclables went to the council tip to recycle. Garden waste into both neighbours green bins as well as ours over 4 weeks.  Praise God we had already steam cleaned the carpets and had a basic clean of the house while Mum was in hospital.  Kat washed down the walls and re arranged paintings and furniture for house opening.  She didn’t want to be in the house while it was open for inspection so went away November 15 to 23^rd.  She needed a break from the emotional ties of the house while it was being sold.

Initially Kat was thinking of buying Mum’s house but in the end decided not to. It was very sad to finally let it go.  The three garage sales went well.  We used Mum’s old pottery sale signs and added garage sale to them.  On two occasions it was also abalone fishing weekend where big crowds flock to the beach to hunt out the abalone on the reefs.

Gumtree sales went quite well too, although most of the big furniture had to be given away.  I took Mum’s cane lounge and tables as well as her kitchen table and chairs, selling my large desk, which was in the dining room, to make room.  Quite a few other items ended up at my place; my new shed quickly filled up.  I had only just finished putting the Lino floor in, on the 28^th of November, and siliconing around the base of the shed to help keep it waterproof and now I couldn’t get through the door it was so full!

During this time I was invited to my Nigerian friends’ daughters’ combined birthday party.  I took public transport down {where is down?} and walked to the venue which was bustling with women in colourful African attire.  Everyone was buzzing around preparing food and arranging tables for guests.  It’s a huge family affair within the African Christian community.  It was also a lovely break for me from my activities involving Mum.

In the meantime Mum was slowly adjusting to her new home.  She was still very unwell and occasionally on oxygen when labouring to breathe.  She was confused and often frightened to be left alone which meant Kat or I was visiting her daily and staying for several hours.  She used her walker but was often tired, so the wheelchair was very handy.

The wing Mum is in at Regis is dementia specific and locked for client’s safety.  Resident’s rooms run off a long corridor which comes off large communal lounge and dining area. The rooms with their own ensuite, have windows facing either east or west.  Mum’s room faces west with a lovely view into the garden.  There are two parts to the garden, one is well kept with an access path running along its length the other a large native bush area with beautiful tall gracious gums.  It’s a perfect garden outlook for Mum who loves trees and gardens.  We often find ourselves sitting under the shade sales or basking in the late afternoon sun.

Regis also provides lifestyle coordinators who organise suitable activities such as painting, colouring, puzzles, bingo and the like to help stimulate residence and keep them occupied and happy.  Every Friday is Happy Hour where entertainers come for an hour’s sing-a-long or other light entertainment. Mum loves trying to join in the sing-a-longs.  These are held in a large hall near reception.  Reception also has a coffee lounge area where guests and residents can sit at tables and enjoy coffee from an automatic coffee machine and cakes, slices, biscuits or scones provided by the centre.  There is also a cinema room, hairdressers and beautician’s room.  This as well as aromatherapy massage, podiatry, physio are also provided through their club service.  There is a bus outing once a week and residents take it in turns to be taken out, usually once a fortnight.

It took many weeks before Mum recovered enough to be able to go out.  Kat or I would take her down to the beach to watch the windsurfers, waves and people.  We usually enjoyed an ice cream while we were there.  We took the wheel chair just in case it was needed.  I started picking up her friends to join us, which was a treat for both of them.

It took many more weeks before she stopped asking to be taken home. Questioning why she had to stay at Regis.  She was so confused and disorientated.  Often bursting into tears when we said we couldn’t because she was still ill.  She didn’t really have any idea where or why she was where she was.  She was convinced she could go home and take care of herself.  Slowly, ever so slowly she regained some of her health and mobility and was able to walk around most of the time unassisted.  But she was still very muddle headed.  It was a very distressing time for all of us.

Kat and I use to bring Suzie, Mum’s dog in to visit her.  But all the time Mum was in hospital and in temporary care poor Suzie was at home alone and was pining for Mum.  Both Kat and I decided it was best that we find a good home for her.  I advertised at church and a lovely young family adopted her.  She is now very happily settled into her new home and Mum has generally forgotten which dog she once had.  Sometimes she will ask after Suzie or ask “Where is ‘the’ dog?” to which Kat and I answer, “At home sleeping”.

In December we held my neighbour, Ann’s birthday and our usual community Christmas BBQ at Bob’s place.  Nezka also invited Kat, Mum and myself to their Christmas Eve dinner, which we suspected would be Mum’s last with the family.

Christmas lunch was organised by Regis for the 25^th December, which both Kat and I attended.  The day of the event, we were informed that there was an outbreak of gastro at Regis, but we figured we would go anyway.  It worked out fine and Mum was glad to see us both.  We had a little present-opening session before the lunch, which was lovely too.

And that brought the year of 2018 to a close.  What a year!

Photos:  1. Frangipani from my garden    2. Mum and I having cheese and wine in her room   3. Grace’s family birthday   4. West facing garden at Regis    5. Mum joining in with the entertainer    6. Mum dancing with one of the residents    7. Hillary’s for an ice cream   8. Christmas at Regis

Prayer & Praise Points:
Praise the Lord for His strength, patience and enabling.  It was truly a comfort knowing He was with me in all the challenges I faced.

Praise Him for the open door and a perfect room for Mum at Regis Residential Care and for the staff who all love Mum and the special care she receives.

Please continue to pray for Mum’s salvation, health and stability.  She is settling in well at Regis for which we are all grateful.

Please continue to pray for Trisha.  Please pray for reconciliation and peace between us all.

I appreciate your ongoing prayers for the business, Senior’s Benefits and Rewards.  We are working on the app at the moment so, God willing, not long now.  There have been some new exciting developments which will soon be revealed.

Thank you to all my supportive friends and prayer partners; it’s such an encouragement to know you are all standing with me